Definition:
–noun
1. a ragged, disreputable person; tatterdemalion.
2. a child in ragged, ill-fitting, dirty clothes.
That’s why I gave myself this handle – ragamuffinkid. In the eyes of God who is just and righteous, I’m just another kid who is completely underserving of His love and grace, and no matter how much I can try, I cannot win His heart and His love. We can’t win His love. He just gave them freely to us. Truth be told, sometimes, I felt so undeserving to the extent that I just don’t know how to receive it.
As You have loved me, please help me to love You more and more everyday.
by Dave Bryant Jesus take me as I am,
I can come no other way.
Take me deeper into You,
Make my flesh life melt away.
Make me like a precious stone,
Crystal clear and finely honed.
Light of Jesus shining through,
Giving glory back to You
Life of late has been quite nerve-wrecking and daunting for me. Having to find ways and means to deal with those immediate issues, even right to the point of my wit’s end and nearly succumbed to depression. I wished it wasn’t that tough, but sometimes, things just don’t move the way you wanted it to be and I am being pushed well beyond my limits. And whenever that happens, it dampens my hope and faith, and sucks me bone dry. Sometimes, I feel so helpless, so incapable and so tired, that I feel redundant like a spare tire, and I don’t know what else to do.
Help me stand
When it’s more than I can do
Not to fall
Jesus hear my call
Help me stand
When adversity’s on every hand
When I’ve done all I can
Help me stand
I was the only one
Star of the show
Thought I could make it on my own
Then came the big surprise
out of the blue
What is the clown supposed to do
Why did I walk away?
You were my life
Patiently taught me how to fly
That was my big mistake
I need You so
Please hold me tight, don’t let me go
Suddenly I’m falling out of the sky
Don’t let me go or I will die
Whose hands are these on my trapeze?
I’m falling free You rescue me so willingly
Whose hands are these on my trapeze?
Take hold of me or there will be a tragedy on my trapeze
It was the year 1990 and I was still serving my full-time national service with 38SCE. This was one of the songs that hit the top 10 on 98.7 FM that year. Very popular indeed. But few people knew that this song by Michael W Smith was actually a gospel song. It was also a song which expressed exactly how I felt that time when I was trying to figure out my place and purpose on this earth. And so, when I first heard this song, it became sort of my personal prayer by singing it to God whenever I was booking in on Sunday night, when I was out in the field for exercise, when I was all alone by myself …
For almost 20 years thereafter, the journey had its ups and downs. But overall, it ended up pretty fruitful and enriching in many ways.
And once in a while, I’ll still sing this to Him in the darkest of nights … but this time, it is more to remind myself that if He has brought me thus far, I can still trust Him to see me through for the rest of my journey, though I can’t see what lies ahead or when will this journey end.
And if you are looking for your place in this world, look no further than Jesus, the alpha and the omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. He will see you through if you wholly surrender your life to Jesus and let Him be the Lord of your life.
The wind is moving but I am standing still
A life of pages waiting to be filled
A heart that’s hopeful, a head that’s full of dreams
But this becoming is harder than it seems
Feels like I’m …
Looking for a reason, roaming through the night to find
My place in this world, my place in this world
Not a lot to lean on, I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world, my place in this world
If there are millions down on their knees
Among the many can You still hear me
Hear me asking where do I belong
Is there a vision that I can call my own
Show me I’m …
Looking for a reason, roaming through the night to find
My place in this world, my place in this world
Not a lot to lean on, I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world, my place in this world
I don’t believe that this actually happened. I got up, washed up, packed my stuff and left my house to campus to start revising my gender module (I’m supposed to be prospecting, but the strain of the coming exam seemed to be more overwhelming at this moment). Everything seemed unusually calm on my way to campus and until I parked my car in NP, I realised, to my horror, that I left my notes and textbooks at home. It was just right next to my bag, but I did not pick it up as I grabbed my bag!
>_<
Needless to say, I drove back and took the stuff. Waste of petrol and time. Hmmph.
Am I suffering from some kind of dementia or what?
Read this story before. But this is the first time I watch the video version. And this is how much the Heavenly Dad loves you, regardless of who you are or what you have done.
For two weekend services – one in youth, and one in adult, this song just kept reminding me of the verse – “The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.” (Isaiah 40:8).
Performed by New Life Worship.
One thing I know that I have found
Through all the troubles that surround
You are the Rock that never fails, You never fail
One thing I know that I believe
Through every blessing I receive
You are the only One that stays, You always stay
Chorus:
You never change, You’re still the same
You are the Everlasting God
You will remain after the day is gone and the things of earth have passed
Everlasting God
God is sovereign!
On a side note, I’ve finished all my tutorials! Hooray! But … coming very soon, my Extremely Xplicitly Agonizing Month.
These words flashed on my laptop screen while I’m doing some readings for my tutorial - ”In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
Daddy God, please tell me if my plans and my steps are still aligned with Yours …
I didn’t expect to come to campus so early to start my second tutorial. I didn’t expect the convocation actually started today. I saw graduates donning their gowns, hoods and those square caps… makes me envious after all. ok, i said it …
I just wish that day would come enough. perhaps, one day, it will. For now, it may just be a time for me to struggle first, but for how long, I don’t know. Then it will be a time of celebration, but after that, a time to face whatever God has placed before me which He has yet to reveal. Perhaps, for me, it’s best to commit whatever I have planned for this crossroad into His hands, do whatever I have to do and to the best I can for now, and just wait on Him to lead me on.
Maybe that’s why God says “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” (Eccl 3:1).
Back to the reality now, I am still envious! hur hur…
Congratulations to all UniSIM graduates (regardless of your programme) for year 2009 !
