journal of a ragamuffin kid

going back to Jesus

ragamuffinkid — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 09:07:57 +0000

back-to-jesus movement

To: XXXXXX

Thank You for signing up for this inaugural Back-to-Jesus course.

1. By this email, we are pleased to confirm your PAID registration for Module 1: The Life Jesus Lived-1.

2. We will be spending a total of 10 Thursday evenings together to re-discover and return to the original Jesus of the Gospels, and what it means to be His disciple with a mission.

• Schedule: January 26th to March 29th

• Time: 7 pm to 10 pm

• Venue: Kum Yan Methodist Church (above the Bras Basah MRT Station). If you’re driving, please note that parking is very limited at Kum Yan. Public parking is available at NTUC Income right next door. S$2.20 per entry after 5 pm.

3. We are a community of hungry learners. We look forward to a lively, life-giving learning experience. As part of classroom discipline, we encourage punctuality and active participation in small groups—for discussion and prayer.

4. Please prepare your heart by reading through the book of MARK before class starts on January 26th.

5. We will be introducing other optional reading materials in the course of the class.

See you on the 26th!

Your Fellow Disciple:

Ed Pousson

*************************************
Back to studies again ….

when you come home

ragamuffinkid — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 09:03:00 +0000

It was a divine and beautiful chaos last evening. With such massive number of respondents to altar call, we, as leaders, could not even finish praying for everyone, because most leaders are also respondents. Everyone could identify themselves with the message and wanted badly to return to His first love. Then towards the end of the service, some parents went on stage and stood alongside with the pastors, prayed a prayer of forgiveness, probably for not being the role model which God has called them to be and the hurts which they had inflicted, as well as blessings over the youths.

I did something during the leaders advance. This night, I did the same thing again – standing in the gap to bring His love, comfort and embrace to His hurting children whom He desires to open His arms to, shower His love upon, and bring healing into their lives.

That night, after dinner, the chorus of a song by Mark Schultz came resonating in my heart. It was a maternal love song about between a mother and her son. The chorus was about the mother’s declaration of her unending love to her son as she hugs her kid into her embrace, but I heard in my heart, that God was singing the chorus as a declaration of His unending love over His children no matter how far they have gone afar or strayed.

First day of recess, they all laughed at me
when I fell off the swing set and scraped up my knee.
The nurse called my momma to say I’d be late,
when she gave me the phone I could hear momma say,
“I’m so sorry, son, though I think you’re so brave,”
she was smilin’ when she said,

CHORUS
“When you come home no matter how far
run through the door and into my arms
It’s where you are loved,
It’s where you belong
I will be here
When you come home”

I waved good-bye through the window as I boarded the plane
My first job in Houston was waiting for me
Found a letter from momma tucked in my coat
as I flew down the runway I smiled when she wrote,
“I’ll miss you son, you’ll be so far away
I’ll be waiting for the day…”

CHORUS
“When you come home no matter how far
run through the door and into my arms
it’s where you are loved
it’s where you belong
I will be here
When you come home”

“I don’t think she can hear you now,” the doctor told me.
“Your mother is fading. It’s best that you leave.”
so I whispered “I love you” then turned away
but I stopped at the door when I heard momma say
“I love you son, but they’re callin’ me away.
Promise me before I go…”

CHORUS
“When you come home no matter how far
run through the door and into my arms
it’s where you are loved
it’s where you belong
I will be here
When you come home
When you come home”

It was so beautiful because He is yearning to reveal Himself to them, not only as God being a holy, just and righteous but also as God the Father whom they can run to, if they choose to come Home.

But It also broke my heart. Very badly.

Partly, I identify myself with them and I had my fair share of struggles in the past.

Partly, my own earthly father ….

And He seems to be leading me into the new role as a spiritual daddy figure to the youths. Do I have what it takes to be one even I’m single and do not have children from my own flesh … and can I offer that same fatherly love to them when it was lacking in my youth?

If there’s anything good in me, it must be You.

Daddy God, will You give me one big old fatherly hug in a very tangible manner which I so long for but I know I’m not going to get it from my own earthly dad anymore?

broken praise

ragamuffinkid — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:53:01 +0000

(By Todd Smith)

If one more person takes my hand and tries to say they understand
Tells me there’s a bigger plan that I’m not meant to see
If one more person dares suggest that I held something unconfessed
Tries to make the dots connect from righteousness to easy street
Well I, I won’t deny I’ve relied on some assumptions
A man’s honest life entitles him to something

But who am I to make demands of the God of Abraham?
And who are You that You would choose to answer me with mercy new
How many more will wander past to find me here among the ashes
Will you hold me? Will you stay?
So I can raise this broken praise to You

Who else will see my suffering as one more opportunity
To educate; to help me see all my flawed theology
If one more well intentioned friend tries to tie up my loose ends
Hoping to, with rug and broom, sweep awkward moments from the room
But I, I can’t forget, I have begged just like a madman
For my chance to die and never have to face the morning

But who am I to make demands of the God of Abraham?
And who are You that You would choose to answer me with mercy new
How many more will wander past to find me sitting in this ash
Will you hold me? Will you stay?
So I can raise this broken praise to You

But You were the One who filled my cup
And You were the One who let it spill
So blessed be your Holy name if you never fill it up again
If this is where my story ends, just give me one more breathe to say
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

it must be You

ragamuffinkid — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:49:37 +0000

I was simply overjoyed at what happened on the last night of the youth leaders advance. I saw how Daddy God moved in the midst, wanting to reveal Himself as God the Father to every single youths and calling out their destinies. Along with my other dinosaur partner, I saw myself ministering and doing impartation of His word to some of them. At the end of the session, I saw myself walking towards the sunset, just like the endings of those cowboy movies. “This is it! My time is up! Time to hit the road for the rest of my journey”, I thought, having seen how these kids have excelled far better and doing even much greater things than I did.

Or so I thought ….

That same night, after the minsitry time was over, I returned to my room to wash up. After shower, while I was putting on my clothes behind the closed toilet door, my eyes kind of “shifted”, and saw the closed door, was no longer a toilet door … but an exit out of the building. Almost immediately, I could just sense a message sipping through my body – “it’s not time for you to leave”.

I loved (and still love) the young people very much. They brought so much zest and life into the community where I’m serving. They have struggles, but seeing how they are learning to deal with them with all their courage as I journeyed with them, I had no regrets at all. But now, from the worldly viewpoint, my market value is probably worth zero and the incinerator at Mt Vernon Crematorium is just waiting to burn my body up. With this biological aging process which I’m forced to go through, I will probably be, in no time, rocking on the grandfather’s chair barking at people walking past my porch without my dentures on.

I bargained in my heart, “but there’s nothing else for me to offer or give to them… how else can I do to serve them?”

Those same words resonated in my heart again, “It’s not time for you to leave”. Leave the toilet, yes. Leave that exit door, He said no.

Ok, so does that mean I still have something left of me that is worth to offer? Smells like I’m still kissing my dancing in the Saturday moonlight by the Siloso beach goodbye.

Yesterday, it was my first time hearing this song performed by Bart Mallard, and I thought to myself, “it must be Him”.

‘Cause if there’s anything good
Anything that’s good in me
Well it must be You, oh
Must be You

And if there’s any part of my shaking heart
To see this journey through
It must be you oh it must be You
It must be you oh it must be You

If I could imagine how Moses met the burning bush in the desert and was commanded to set His people free, then my equivalent of that bush must be that closed exit door. But to set His people free? Free from what? At the end of it all, it’s Him who set the people free while Moses was selected as His instrument and mouthpiece.

Who am I that I should ….? It must be You.

This morning, while I was conversing with Pete through SMS. I could sense what was on His mind. Just this evening, during a movie screening @ Cathay Cineplex, His heartbeat was pounding so blatantly loud in my heart for that two hours.

So, it seems that my job isn’t finished yet.

Yes, it must be You!

You may be asking where I am heading next? While I have an inkling, I am as lost as Moses initially was, and I really have no idea what He is going to do with me … as of this moment. If you are still keen to know what it is, you will have to come back here in future to read more about it

感谢祢耶稣

ragamuffinkid — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 16:58:12 +0000

This is one of those songs which is so God-inspired and God-breathed, that got me down on my knees.

Speechless …

by David Ee

(Chorus)

感谢祢耶稣我的救主
祢为了我付出了所有
在十架上祢破碎的身体
给我新造的生命

感谢祢耶稣我的救主
是祢赐我生命的气息
祢给了我每一天
所需要的恩典为祢而活

fires of revival

ragamuffinkid — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 03:47:02 +0000

Had a very intense 2-day Restoring The Altar of The Lord conference with Peter Tsukahira from something like 9am to 10pm at night. My leave quota is 2 days lesser, but I am thankful that I came for it. It was more than just learning the word and understanding. It was like a season where the Lord is asking everyone and myself to rebuild the altar of the Lord in our personal life … where we can come to meet Him, where we can commune with Him, where we can come and worship Him, where we are challenged to offer up our best – our dreams, our hopes, our high-paid jobs, our family, our identity, our security, etc – and lay them on the altar for Him permanently. I also sensed that He wants our everything, including our failures, our struggles, our sins, our heartbreaks and aches … and surrender these to Him on the altar, in exchange for His yoke.

This old worship song suddenly just flashed across my mind when I was just uploading this photo on the facebook … and it just blew my mind away! I believe it’s more than just restoration of the altar of the Lord, I believe it brings forth a fire of revival in our personal lives as well as the church, and throughout the land.

And after restoring the altar of the Lord and fire of revival comes forth … we will need the perseverance and His grace to keep the fire burning, rather than seeing the revival just touch and go.

Fires of Revival

I came into the gathering of the people of the Lord
And found my way among them to His Throne
I needed to return unto the altar of my God
To renew again my covenant with Him

And there I built an altar to His Name
And realise that my life would never be the same
And then the fires of revival came sweeping
through my soul
And I touch the Holy Presence of my God

Come build an altar unto the Lord
Return to worship and hear His Word
And then the fires of revival will come sweeping
through your soul
And we’ll touch the Holy Presence of our God

I wanted to discover the first love we once had shared
Rekindling the fire deep within
I found the lamp still flickering in the temple of my Lord
And pour a horn of oil unto the flame

And there I built an altar to His Name
And realise that my life would never be the same
And then the fires of revival came sweeping
through my soul
And I touch the Holy Presence of my God

Come build an altar unto the Lord
Return to worship and hear His Word
And then the fires of revival will come sweeping
through your soul
And we’ll touch the Holy Presence of our God

revelation song

ragamuffinkid — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 18:19:57 +0000

Of late, this worship song has been resonating in my heart. Even today when I was staying back in church for Peter Tsukahira’s Restoring The Altar Of The Lord Conference, this worship song was sung repeatedly. I can’t describe what went through my mind as well as my emotions, but it was like, standing before His throne of grace, my personal declaration of God’s holiness, righteousness, power, greatness, grandeur and sovereignty, despite of my sinfulness, shortcomings, struggles and unworthiness.

“You are my everything and I will adore You ….”

by Kari Jobe (Gateway Worship)

Worthy is the Lamb Who was slain
Holy, holy is He
Sing a new song to Him Who sits on Heaven’s mercy seat

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings
You are my everything, and I will adore You

Clothed in rainbows of living color
Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor, strength and glory and power be
To You, the only wise King

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings
You are my everything, and I will adore You

Filled with wonder, awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your Name
Jesus, Your Name is power, breath and living water, such a marvelous mystery

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings
You are my everything, and I will adore You

all will be well

ragamuffinkid — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 18:54:41 +0000

Words and Music by Cathy Burton

When the worries of the day
And the troubles of the night
Come tumbling in, come tumbling in
When the worries of the day
And the troubles of the night
Come tumbling in, come tumbling in

Take a moment to just sigh out
Take a moment to just cry out
Help me dear Lord
To lay it all down at Your feet
All will be well
All will be well
Peace will be restored
When we pray to the Lord

When the darkness is deep
And you cannot sleep
It all begins tumbling
Then the thoughts go around
You’re afraid of each sound
Oh, there’s no rest, there’s no rest

Take a moment to just sigh out
Take a moment to just cry out
Help me dear Lord
To lay it all down at Your feet
All will be well
All will be well
Peace will be restored
When we pray to the Lord
All will be well
All will be well
Peace will be restored
When we take it to the Lord
Take it to the Lord
Take it to the Lord
Take it to the Lord

convocation of a late bloomer

ragamuffinkid — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 07:08:52 +0000

I remebered when my uni held its first convocation in 2006, I was studying at one corner of the SIM campus. A graduate with his family came to my table and sat down to consume their food. The graduate was majoring in psychology and when he saw me reading up my level 1 textbook, he told me, “don’t give up, don’t quit”.

5 years later on this very day, i’m one of the many graduates from the Class of 2011 being conferred with the degree at a very “old” age.

Call me a late bloomer if you like.

If I’m being asked with this question – what would I do if I could turn back the time, I wish i have studied much harder when I was a teen.

At least, I have to thank God for seeing me through this part of my journey, and i’m still looking forward to my next part – my post grad or Masters … when opportunity arises and i feel the nudge to pursue.

he is more

ragamuffinkid — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 16:42:05 +0000

July 2011 marks another new season and milestone of my life, in a place where I used to step foot in, in a place where I could reconnect half the faces I first knew, in a place where I could quickly settle in and continue to pour coffee dutifully … And if this is where I’m called to return to for this season of time, then I will see the season through and I will continue to learn to fix my eyes on Him. He is more than my words could ever say. All glory be to God.

You Are More by Hillsong Live

VERSE 1
On the day I called
You answered me
And the hope in my soul increased
I lift my hands
And turn my eyes
To the God who heals my heart
And gives me peace

CHORUS:
You are more than
My words could ever say
You are Lord over all
Over all of my days
I will see this season through
I will fix my eyes on You
Only You
Only You

VERSE 2:
I worship You
And lift You high
God forever let Your name be glorified
I lift my voice
And sing Your name
For you gave Your life to cleanse my sin
And took away my shame

BRIDGE:
Hallelujah
The earth will sing
May Your name be glorified